2021-01-18
COMMENCEMENT
966, Poseok-ro, Gyeongju-si, Gyeongsangbuk-do, Republic of Korea
FUJIFILM X100V
Instagram | hwantastic79vivid
On my 22nd birthday, I cried over someone. I thought it was it, I could not possibly find happiness with another person again. So I picked up myself up, I told myself I needed nobody else. All men do is come into your life and wreck havoc and leave. I still thought of him a lot in the following months, thought I would go insane. But I am fine now, finally at peace now, and I may scar me but I will be okay. It will just be okay eventually.
It is strange how there’s actually somebody who cares for you. Somebody who asks you simple questions about your day and if you keep yourself warm on a brutal winter day. Somebody who texts first always and never ends the conversation first. Somebody who stays up so late because he wants to talk to you. Somebody who respects you but also laughs with you and makes you feel like you’ve known each other forever. Somebody who’s seen you from afar and up close and still likes you. People like that are rare. And from my experience, I can never keep good things for long. But for this one time, I hope I can keep him for a little longer.
3 months ago I would stay up till 3 am, crying over a man who left. Yesterday, I also stayed up till 3, but on the phone with somebody else, laughing and telling him to please go to sleep, but he insisted on talking for a little longer. Somebody may leave and it may hurt. But it’s not the end of the world. Somebody will come, and it may take some time but they will make you happy. Because after all, we all deserve happiness.
He asked, “When was the last time you felt lonely?” She saw this question coming, still it took some time to answer him. “Interestingly enough, I really couldn’t tell the last time I was desperately lonely. I’m pretty fine on my own most of the time, and whenever I want company, I always have my best friends there. Guess I’m just pretty lucky,” she replied, laughing. He didn’t question her, he knew she was being honest. She simply hasn’t felt it for a long time, and being alone a lot doesn’t mean you are lonely. He, on the other hand, couldn’t tell when he wasn’t feeling lonely in this big, crowded city. “Maybe it’s because there wasn’t anybody involved. Once somebody comes into your life, you’ll know how it feels,” he said softly. And now that he’s left, all she’s feeling is loneliness.
| — | a true story. |
yes, I still believe the stars aligned with the idea of us together.
| — | B.M. (via ) |
“You know you’re fucked when you don’t just think of them at 2am, but also at 2pm”
Overthinking is killing me
“You don’t think about me the way I think of you, and it’s killing me.”
- repeated pain
“I should be over this by now, but it still hurts.”
- 2yrs later
i want someone who doesn’t make me run an emotional marathon just to keep them around
everythings-reminding-me-of-you:
After all this time, I’m still waiting for you to call me and say you’re sorry and you haven’t had a day where you haven’t thought about the way I used to hold you. Or even for you to just show up at my door and hug me, and in that hug I’ll understand everything. But in reality, I know the longer I wait, the more you’re getting used to your life without me. You’re happier without me as the time goes on.
11.08pm
Weren’t in my best headspace, I swear
You got me stressed, got me questioning
My worth
Haven’t cried in so long
Meeting you got me in tears
Twice
Haven’t felt lonely in so long
You got me feel like I’m the only
Person left behind
You weren’t good for my health
Still aren’t
Not in my best headspace
Still am.
Remember when you laughed at me
Remember when you slowly
Realizing our differences
I saw them first
You wanted to ignore them.
The idea of you
Intrigued me more than you
Ever could.